Desperate Housewives
by Avello
Summary: When the neighborhood women pissed Kagome off, she set her sights on their men. What has kagome gotten herself into now? OneShot Lemon. Please Review! InuxKag Pairing


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**Adult Disclaimer - Restricted Area**

This section/ fan fiction may contain adult oriented material of a graphic and sexual nature, and could be viewed objectionable to some persons. This material is intended for persons over the allowed age limit. This material may be against the law in some areas. If you are accessing this area from any location that deems this type of material to be inappropriate or illegal, you should not proceed.

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**Author's Note**

Well I've decided to make another (_One Shot_). This one is a little funny, but it's an overall lemon. I hope you guys enjoy! Also, I should be posting more (_One Shot's_) soon. Maybe by later today or tomorrow. So stay tuned! Also if you would like me to make a lemon with any type of plot, whether it be Lesbian, BDSM, Yaoi, 3-4 Some's etc… please PM me as soon as possible. Oh and another thing I wanted to add. You guys should check out the story "Never Forget Me". It's brand new, and it barely has any reviews at the moment. So don't forget to check that out and leave a review! _~Avello_

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"_**Desperate Housewives"**_

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_When the neighborhood women piss me off, I set my sights on their men._

I took a long cold sip of my lemonade that was spiked with hints of vodka. Wiping the beads of sweat from my forehead, I silently cursed the previous owners of my new house for letting their garden go to hell. It is a brutally hot afternoon, but I am bound and determined to rid my flowerbeds of these God forsaken weeds. My tank top and running shorts were plastered tightly to my skin. I put my hair up in a ponytail to get it off my neck. I had no idea when I moved here that it could still be so blazing hot in October, or I might have reconsidered my location instead of changing my life on the whim of a dart. Literally. I threw a dart at a map one day while sitting at a local Starbucks cafe. The city it landed on is where I surprisingly found a well-paying job. How could I refuse an offer made by chance? Crazy? Definitely. But I was not in a particularly lucid frame of mind after finding my fiancée in bed with my brother shortly before our first year anniversary. I had to get away, and tossing a dart seemed as logical as any other method of escape.

With my litigation skills, I had no trouble landing a job with a law office in a nice Southern town. I bought a big house in a beautiful neighborhood and drove the 2000 miles from Seattle with nothing but my car, my chocolate lab Dexter, and one suitcase. I left everything else, wanting nothing to remind me of my old life. This is a new start, and while I'm not exactly excited about it, I am resigned to make the best of it.

The people in this neighborhood seem friendly, smiling and waving to me as they drive by. It's not a very big neighborhood, but it's gated and exclusive. Everyone seems to drive a luxury vehicle, and all of the clothes I've seen carry designer labels. Not a problem for me. My Lexus fits in just fine, and I plan to replace all of my old designer clothes with brand new designer clothes. Starting this weekend, I will treat myself to a marathon shopping spree. I have one nice outfit to my name right now, and I plan to bust that out tonight when I am visited by the neighborhood _Welcome Wagon_.

That visit was announced this morning when one of the neighbors walked over and introduced herself to me. She looked about my age, mid-thirties, with a fake tan, fake nose, fake breasts, and perfectly coiffed fake blonde hair. She extended a meticulously manicured hand, with fake fingernails, which I shook with my dirt-encrusted one. Her nose wrinkled just slightly as she attempted to subtly wipe her hand clean. Then she pasted on a fake smile, and gave me the good news.

"I'm Kikyou. Welcome to the neighborhood. The Welcome Wagon would like to stop by this evening and welcome you properly. Is 7:00 acceptable to you?"

I smiled back, and mustered some enthusiasm, "I'm Kagome, and I'd absolutely love a visit. I look forward to it!"

I check my watch. 5:00. How on earth is it still so hot at 5:00? Giving the weeds the evil eye, I throw in the trowel with a temporary while grudging acknowledgement of defeat and headed to the shower. I peeled off my sweat-soaked clothes and stepped into the shower. I was happily contented with my new shower. From the floor to the ceiling, the wall of jets soaked my entire body from head to toe. The water pressure and temperature was set perfectly, and the jets pelt my tired muscles with the hottest water that was easy enough to endure. I wanted to stand here for hours, relaxing, letting my thoughts run down the drain. Washing my hair, I started massaging my fingers through my scalp and working up luxurious bubbles before rinsing it clean. My shower gel is called Seascape, and its scent reminds me of the beach. I have a fleeting image of Inuyasha, tall and ripped. He was my next door neighbor's husband, and I would do anything to get my hands on him. Interesting enough, I started to imagine him in swim trunks while it sat low on his hips. I can see him walking towards me as I lounge in the soft white sand. The Hanyou blood pumping through his veins and the long thick mane that lay loosely to his waist. Without thinking, I step closer to the shower jet wall, bending my legs just slightly to position one of the jets so that the hot water shoots between my legs. I shiver at the sensation as my body temperature raises, my nipples hardening under the assault of another pair of jets. With thoughts of Inuyasha in my head, I reach down to touch my pussy. I slide a finger inside the pink folds. Moaning at the feeling, the powerful jets attack my clit, heating it up, sending little shivers of excitement through my entire body.

I add a second finger and fuck myself with them. Thrusting my fingers in and out while my hips press forward, forcing the jets to pound me with the hot water until I feel my orgasm tearing through my body. I grit my teeth and scream in pleasure, and the tears spring unbidden to my eyes as I collapse against the shower wall. I shake my head viciously trying to force Inuyasha's image from my mind. Not enough time has passed yet. I just need more time.

After the shower, I collect myself with a cup of hot tea before I carefully dry my shoulder-length hair. It was thick and ebony. Straightening it, I wanted to look nice for this so called _'meet and _greet'. Scolding at the thought of it, I began flipping up the ends. I applied my makeup flawlessly, and dressed in a designer skirt, heels and a very expensive beaded halter top. Then I ate dinner and a piece of pizza left over from the feast that was provided by the delivery boys. They've trooped in and out of my house for the last few days since I didn't have the taste for anything else. Finally, I settled onto the couch with a stack of briefs to wade through, while I dreaded the arrival of the neighborhood _Welcome Wagon_.

At 7:00 on the dot, the bell rings. I walk to the door, expecting a handful of smiling women. I was totally unprepared for the horde that waits on my doorstep. No less than a dozen female neighbors, some smiling, some not. Without an invitation, they trampled into my living room.

"Come in," I said, with just a touch of irritation. One of the women thrusts a basket into my hands containing fruit and a copy of the neighborhood bylaws. This was rather interesting. I didn't know that there were such _Bylaws_in living in a neighborhood such as this one.

A statuesque redhead name Ayame was apparently the spokeswoman for the group. After everything had settled down, we all took a seat in the living room as she got up to speak. Stepping forward, she cleared her throat and addresses me without introduction.

"This neighborhood is very exclusive. We are very particular about maintaining its appearance. You must demonstrate meticulous attention to your lawn, landscaping, and exterior of your home. You must keep all vehicles in operational condition and housed within your garage. Trash cans must be kept out of sight except on trash collection day. There will be no clutter allowed standing in your driveway, on your porches, or in your yard. All window coverings must be lined in white, and all windows in the house must be covered consistently. Other, more specific requirements are outlined in this document," she sweeps her hand towards my basket and steps back.

A second woman stood up while tossing her blonde hair off her shoulders. It was the fake chick from earlier. Kinky was it?

"We are concerned that you appear to be single. Is that the case?"

Incensed at the question, I have momentarily lost the power of speech. I nodded my head. _'What did being single have to do with anything?'  
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>"We thought so." The group began to glare at me. If they were trying to intimidate me, it wasn't working. They looked like they were constipated. "You must understand that this is a family community. We are all happily married women and wish to avoid any unnecessary… tension in the neighborhood that could come from a single woman parading through the streets." So now she's calling me a whore? Parading? I can't help it if I'm attractive. Oh, doesn't she have balls.<p>

"So we will require you to dress appropriately from now on to avoid putting yourself on display within the view of our husbands." Now I was irritated. "For example, gardening in a tank top with no bra could hardly be considered modest. You will refrain from such vulgar dress in the future."

I stared at her for a second, to make sure I heard correctly. Then I started laughing. A good, long, hearty laugh. No one joins in. They couldn't be serious. "Are you fucking kidding me? I have to dress like a nun, so that I can contain your insecurities? No, I don't think so." I looked at her as if she was an idiot. I looked perfectly fine. It's not my fault that you're worry about some other woman taking your man. If they were putting it down at home, they wouldn't have to worry about their man looking for someone else who can. This meeting was officially over.

A petite brunette speaks up from the middle of the pack. "We don't condone that type of language in this neighborhood. We pride ourselves on our upstanding moral character and hope that you will adapt to our values, find yourself a good husband, and become a respectable member of our little society."

Wow. Just wow. Never… ever… in my life… Have I died and entered some other dimension? It's like Twilight Zone meets Desperate Housewives. I'm so stunned, I couldn't even think straight. Then, suddenly and without warning, the bitch in me wakes up and gets pissed. A plan jumps into my head, fully formed. I quickly plaster on a smile to rival any one of theirs.

"I understand, and I completely respect your desire to maintain a peaceful and happy neighborhood. I will do everything I can to ensure that my presence here is… desirable. Can I ask a favor? I'd love to learn who and where all of you are in the neighborhood, but I have a terrible memory. Would you write your names and addresses in this notebook? And please include your husbands' and children's names as well… so I know who to avoid, of course."

A collective sigh of relief goes through the crowd at my apparent willingness to conform, and they all take turns writing out their information. Then I take my cell phone and snap a picture of each one in the same order that they appear in the notebook. Shaking each hand, I escort them from my house and collapse on the couch with my notebook and cell phone. I started matching names, photos, and locations and committing them to memory as quickly as possible. Then I call my office and let them know I will be working from home tomorrow.

Part one of my plan involves the woman with the blonde who called me out and warned me for being single. She lives diagonally across the street from me, coincidentally. Her name is Kikyou and her husband is Inuyasha. If I knew that information sooner, I wouldn't have gone out of my way and make that long list. Still, revenge is sweet and they don't have any children. Easy target.

The next morning I got up early, fixed a cup of coffee, and settle down in front of my living room window to watch their house. At 5:30 I noticed some activity, so I grabbed my notebook and jotted down some notes. Inuyasha was gorgeous. Tall and athletic, with a body hat screamed 'bad add'. He started to head out to the front door wearing a tank top and running shorts. He stretches by the mailbox before taking off up the street at a brisk jog. With a satisfied sigh, I snapped the notebook shut and prepared for more reconnaissance. Packing some drinks and a sack lunch in a little cooler, I grabbed my laptop and headed out the door.

The entrance to the neighborhood has a guard shack that is mostly for show, although it can be used as a real working place for a guard. It's unlocked, so I slipped inside with my notebook and waited. As cars begin to pass through the gate I wrote down the make, the model, license plate number, the description or name of the driver, and the time. I kicked back in a chair and drank soft drinks while preparing for a long day of tracking while continuing to log the ins and outs of the cars in the neighborhood. In between, I am searching the web using my legal connections to research phone records, DMV records, and employment histories. I am a busy girl. By the time I get home, I will have a complete profile of every family in the neighborhood; the times they leave for work, the times they come home, the husbands that sneak home in the middle of the day and who they're meeting. Unsurprisingly, the wives do the same—if not more than the men. I should be a private detective, as complete as my data is.

Phase two of my plan will put this knowledge to good use.

The next morning I'm up early in my running attire while watching the clock with one eye and the neighbors' house with the other. At around 5:25, I go outside and start stretching down by the mailbox. Right on cue, Inuyasha steps outside in his running gear. He stops short when he sees me with my leg propped up on the side of the mailbox, stretching my hamstring. He gives me a little wave and begins his own stretches. Time to make my move.

"Good morning," I simper, as I saunter over to him. He grins at me. Such a handsome smile. _This should be good._

"Good morning," he says, standing up and placing his hands on his hips. He doesn't mind checking me out. This may be a bit easier than I held out my hand.

"I'm Kagome," I said. "I just moved in."

"I'm Inuyasha," he says, "and the whole neighborhood noticed you moving in."

"Yeah… I had a nice little visit from the Welcome Wagon."

He winces. "I hope they didn't intimidate you. They have a tendency to be… _intense_."

"I don't intimidate easily," I say, winking at him. "Your wife was rather insistent though. She said that you are her property and I should make sure not to even look at you. I'm a little nervous talking to you right now."

Inuyasha rolls his eyes. "She tends to be a little jealous. Possessive. Overprotective."

"Hmm, does she have reason to act the way she does?"

"Not that she knows," Inuyasha grins. "I keep my… extracurricular activities well hidden."

"Oh! Is that so?" _Score._"So you enjoy extracurricular activities, do you?"

"Very much," says Inuyasha, coming a bit closer. "What about you?"

I lean in close to him and whisper in his ear, "I majored in extracurricular activities." He had an immediate erection. "Would you like to run with me?"

"I'd love to,"

I take off up the street at a brisk pace with Inuyasha running behind me. I know he's watching the swift motion of my ass. In that instant, I had a smile spread across my face so wide that my jaw began to ache me at the thought of what's to come. When I reach the guard shack, I stopped and turn flashing a signature grin. Without a word, I opened the door and dash inside. Of course, he followed me.

"Making a pit stop?" He said panting.

"Mm-hmm," I replied. I started backing farther into the shack. He follows me, eyes locked on mine, until he backs me against the wall. He came closer and leaned his arms against the wall. Suddenly his lips are on mine, and I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him as eagerly. The forbidden nature of this encounter, hidden in a guard shack just down the street from his wife made it even hotter. We were both breathing heavily while stripping our clothes off in a matter of minutes. His eyes lit up in appreciation when he sees me in nothing but my bare skin, and he immediately reaches for my breasts, kneading them with his hands, and tweaking the nipples with his fingers. They quickly harden under his experienced touch, and I shiver with excitement. He runs his tongue around the outline of my nipple. He flicks his tongue over it before taking it fully in his mouth and sucking on it.

I moan with pleasure, feeling my pussy getting wet in anticipation. He is still wearing his running shorts and I want to see his throbbing cock. He was fully erect and generously sized, causing an ache between my legs that I know he is well equipped to fill. As if he could read my thoughts, he reached down and strokes my pussy. Dipping a finger inside and withdrawing it dripping wet, he grasped his cock in his hand. It felt incredible as he started sliding the head against my opening, grinding himself in circles against my moist folds, and pressing it gently against me without penetrating. I immediately crave more, so I start grinding against him, stimulating my clit with his hard shaft and the head of his dick. Suddenly and without warning, he grabs my shoulders and turned me around while pushing me into the wall. I reached forward to brace myself, then spread my legs while I waited to penetrated. He reaches his hand between my legs and positions the tip of his cock.

"You're so wet," he whispers in amazement.

"It's been a while," I admit. "I'm very ready."

That's all he needed to hear as he slid his cock into me. Thrusting harder each time, the both of us groaned at the erotic sensations of pleasure and being filled by a near stranger. He pulls out, then plunges back into me with long, deep, driving thrusts, and I pressed my hips back to meet each one. Inuyasha's strokes become shallower and twice as fast, and he begins moaning loudly with the conflict he is under. Does he fight to control himself and try to please me or give in to this urge to shoot me full of his cum? As if in answer, he reaches his hand around me and presses his fingers against my clit. He started tapping it quickly in unison to the pounding of his dick. This dual attention is what my body was craving, and it responded well. I clenched my muscles around his cock and cry out as a massive orgasm rocks me. Inuyasha takes that as his cue and pounds his cock all the way into me, pushing pass the limits. He came deep inside me, shuddering against my back as his throbbing cock empties itself.

He pulled out his cock and stepped away from me. I turned around and rested against the wall while trying to steady my legs and calm my breathing. Things are awkward for a moment as we each acknowledge that we fucked a stranger, but by the time we're jogging towards home, we're already making plans to meet again. As I turn into my driveway, I can't help the smug grin that overtakes my features. I have accomplished the first step of my master plan.

Within a month, I will have fucked the husbands, lovers and various significant others of every member of the Welcome Wagon.

One down, many more to go. I think I'm going to like living here.

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_Please Review! _

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_If you'd like this story, please don't forget to check out my other stories on my profile page! (Description Below)_

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_~My Baby's Daddy (Romance/Drama –Inucludes Lemons-: Main Pairing(s): InuxKag, MirxSan, KouxAyam_

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_~Never Forget Me (Romance/Drama –Includes later Lemons-) Main Pairing(s): InuxKag, SessxRin, MirxSan, KouxAyam, NaraxKaugra_

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_~Satisfaction: Lemon (One Shot) Main Pairing(s): InuxKag_

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_~One Night of Dirty Dancin': Lemon (One Shot) Main Pairings(s): Kagome and A Group of Men  
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Copyright © 2003-2011 Rumiko Takahashi Inu-Yasha

Copyright © 2011 Avello/Kag-Inuss (Fan Fic)


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